Introduction to Upward Spiral Connections!

I'm so glad you're here!

Hello and welcome to my tiny corner of the internet! My name is Michelle Belford, and I am a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor located in Chicago, IL. I graduated in 2012 from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology with my Master’s in Clinical Psychology, Counseling Specialization. I got my Bachelor’s in Psychology with a Minor in Addictions Counseling from Indiana Wesleyan University in 2009.  

OK, now that the boring stuff is out of the way, let me tell you who I really am. When asked what population I work with in my therapy practice, I always say “eating disorders and trauma.” In my decade-plus of practice, and where my heart and passion lie, this is the most succinct way to answer that question. I get a variety of responses, ranging from very silly (“Are you reading my mind right now?” NO. No I am not.) to failed attempts at humor (“I have an eating disorder – I can’t stop.” Insert eye roll here and me biting my lip to not lecture the person on the widespread problem of eating disorders), to respect and people being impressed (“wow! I could never do that! Isn’t it hard to listen to people’s tragedies?” It is, and I am honored to work alongside my incredible clients to help them find the life they want.)

So how did I get here? Well. I wish I had a “I knew from the time I was 5 I wanted to do this” story, but the truth is, I changed my major approximately 8 times in college, the final decision happening in what should have been my senior year. (I took a victory lap.) I toyed around with nursing, elementary education (kids in mass quantities and I did not mix), and really just felt lost because I knew I wanted to be a therapist deep down, but there was a lot of noise in my undergrad about expectations of women (this is a story for another blog post) and the fear of having to go to grad school. I finally harnessed my bravery and told my dad in a likely tearful conversation that I wanted to switch my major back to psychology and go to grad school. My dad, being very wise and very calm, was just waiting for me to get to this realization myself and was like, “Cool. So proud of you. Let’s do it.” 

After my victory lap semester, I went to grad school where I wrote a million papers, made the very best friends, and felt like I didn’t know how to be a therapist when I graduated. (Spoiler alert: I did.)

The road to getting to where I am now was NOT smooth. It took me a long time to find a job, despite me spending 3-4 days a week doing nothing but applying to jobs and crying. My first job was more of a secretarial role just to have some money. I loved the people, but they moved to Indiana, and I refused to get licensed there (it’s where I’m from). I then found another job that I promptly got fired from after a month. My self esteem was NOT doing well at this point, and I would be lying if I said that I didn’t want to just give up. However, that is not how I was raised, nor is it who I am. I rallied and after some ridiculous situations, I landed a job at a Behavioral Health Hospital in the Chicago suburbs as a mental health counselor (which is basically a jack of all trades role) on their eating disorder/self harm unit. I had applied to quite literally every job that hospital had open and landed on the eating disorder unit, which was actually the one I was the most interested in. 

My first day, I showed up in fancy dress pants, a dress top, and heels, which I would quickly learn was a dumb idea – my shoe obsession be damned! The first day, I went to assist with a crisis on a different floor to observe and was like “cool. This is my life now. I’m ready.” Then, after returning to my unit, one of the patients was self harming. I thought, “OK, let’s do this.” I quickly adjusted to my new role and the chaos of it, which would set the stage for the type of jobs I sought out for the next several years.

I credit this job to what makes me such a good therapist. I saw clients at their absolute worst, and still found their humanity, their desire to live even though it was painful. I heard stories that I cried about in my car on my way home. I got kicked and hit, and I kept my cool and found that with these events, I continued to find deeper and deeper connection and humanity in my clients who oftentimes were written off as “non-compliant”, “resistant”, “borderline”, and other descriptors. I saw clients come in a shell of themselves and leave hopeful and smiling and maybe even a little happy. I have never been cocky enough to think “I did that,” but rather “I’m so happy I got to be a part of this and witness this person’s change.”

After two years, I left inpatient land for a role as family therapist at an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Eating Disorder Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP). I learned a lot here – mostly that working with parents is tough and also very important when working with teens/kids. After a year, I left this job and went to an Eating Disorder treatment program (Residential, PHP, IOP) downtown at one of the largest ED programs in the country. I loved it. I loved my coworkers, I loved my clients…I loved the creativity allowed to me in jobs and in my individual work. I quickly developed a reputation as the therapist who did well with the toughest clients and who was able to help all of her clients make progress.

 A year-and-a-half later, I became a clinical manager and the curtain was pulled back just enough for me to confirm what I had suspected: big treatment centers are bureaucratic and focused on money and numbers. And then COVID hit. And more and more, I realized that my values and what I believed was the best practice for treating eating disorders did not align and could not align while working in higher levels of care.

In 2021, I made the very painful decision to leave higher levels of care, where I had spent the last 8 years of my professional life, to go to a group practice as the Director of Eating Disorder Services. I have been there ever since. This summer, I started to think about my values, both personally and professionally, my goals for myself, and what I wanted out of life, and realized I was ready to make the jump to my own practice. And thus, Upward Spiral Connections was born.

So WHAT is “Upward Spiral Connections”? Well, it encompasses counseling, coaching, and consulting. I’m a therapist, first and foremost. However, as a friend says occasionally, I do have “latent teacher energy”, and I love to teach and help fellow clinicians grow. My dream for this practice is to have a mix of therapy clients, coaching clients (for boundaries, body image, etc.), and consulting with my fellow therapists on developing and firming up their skills as eating disorder therapists.

The best part of my own practice is that I can fully embrace my own values as a therapist and as a human and how I can freely apply them in my practice. As I mentioned above, I spent YEARS in the higher level of care machine. While I don’t REGRET my time in HLOC, I learned so much-and not necessarily good things. Shedding the methods that HLOC instilled in me was somehow both hard and easy. I can easily identify ten things off the top of my head I don’t (and didn’t) agree with. But the pull of “but this is what you do” is strong and something I had to unlearn.

Nowadays, I practice from a Harm Reduction framework (a blog coming soon about this and how I got here!) as well as using a relational framework to connect with my clients. I always make sure my clients know they are an ACTIVE part of the treatment team, not the SUBJECT of the plan. It serves absolutely no one for me to act like I’m the one who knows everything (I like to think I do, but I definitely do not!). I want my clients to feel safe and heard and supported in our work together. Will I push you? Absolutely. Will I challenge you? Definitely. Will I follow your lead with certain topics? YES. I will sit in the suck with you but I also will help you find helpful ways out of it. I will point out your successes and progress and celebrate with you. I will cry with you when awful things happen. We will talk about anything and everything you need to – sometimes it’s Taylor Swift. Sometimes it’s how much you hate your life. Sometimes it’s about your complex and confusing feelings about your family. Sometimes it’s about how dating apps are the worst thing in the world. Sometimes it’s about boundaries.

I have a small roster of amazing dietitians that I work closely with in the Harm Reduction capacity and while often the progress is slow, it is amazing and genuine. Do we get yelled at on occasion? Yes. Are there tears? Occasionally. But I would expect nothing less when doing extremely difficult work. I think pointing out the small victories is of utmost importance in a world where only major victories are really celebrated.

That’s the professional Michelle. In my free time, I’m passionate about Taylor Swift, my dog, Sirius, my nieces and nephews, my friends, Chicago in the summertime, eating at fun places, and braving dating apps. I often say my main personality traits are being a dog mom and an aunt, but I seriously do not care because those kids and my pup bring me immeasurable joy. I text my sisters often demanding pictures and have been known to drop everything so I can help babysit. My dog, Sirius, is a rescue pittie mix and definitely did NOT inherit his namesake’s bravery. He is afraid of most things, but loves me beyond measure. (It is important to note here that I am an “Elder Millennial,” and the Harry Potter series is an inextricable part of my childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. That being said, I vehemently oppose JK Rowling’s transphobic and hateful views and have not and will not purchase anything that will somehow give her any more money). My friends are the loves of my life and we prioritize spending time together as much as we can. (See below for a tiny sampling of how cute Sirius is! There’s a lot of histrionics in our condo…the first picture, in which he is is staring out the window dramatically is because I wasn’t sitting in his favorite cuddle position…)

I also love reading and watching TV. I am a true crime/psychological thriller junkie and joke that if someone looked at my streaming habits, they might be worried about me. I love and value human life, so no one really needs to worry! I just love psychologically engrossing stories. 

I live near the lake and spend a lot of time walking on the bike path or just sitting in the grass and enjoying the view and life in Chicago. I will never turn down a new restaurant and love to try different things. I’m forever on a quest to find the best cup of coffee in Chicago and have tried a number of places and always looking for recommendations.

Thank you for reading this far and I look forward to connecting with you further. I have a number of blog posts planned, beyond my mini-autobiography!

I will be opening a number of therapy spots and consulting spots in the near future. I hope to work with you!

I will be updating this blog once or twice a week, so come along for the journey!